loom

The crime is small, specific, and somehow still exhausting: the README claims "the last." Not a prototype. Not a toolkit. The last. Loom is pitched as a local-first control plane for coding agents—one CLI, shared memory, baton handoffs across Claude Code, OpenCode, and friends—and the marketing already sounds like a funeral for competition that never arrived.

Zero stars. Zero receipts. A Slop Score of sixteen. And the README still arrives dressed for the victory lap. That is peak README cope: declare the ending in the first paragraph so nobody notices the middle is missing. "The last" is not a feature. It is a vibe check failed in public, a slogan that outran the software and then tripped over the empty star count.

If the baton handoff is the product, the README already handed the baton to destiny and hoped nobody would ask for a demo. Calling something the last before anyone treats it as the first is not confidence. It is cosplay. Rotate the hyperbole. Keep the agents. Lose the crown. History did not close. The tab did.