Skip to content

How the roast gets made

You paste a URL. Four agents read everything you hoped nobody would. About thirty seconds later there is a score, a crimes list, and a page you did not ask for.

We ran it on ourselves first. Scroll down.

Step 01

The gate

Sign in with GitHub and submit a repo you own — or tag any repo with the roast-me topic. That consent check is the whole gate. No strangers get roasted, ever.

Ownership check
  • you/your-regret — collaborator ✓
  • topic roast-me present ✓
  • ✕someone else's repo — rejected

Private repos never enter the pipeline

Step 02

Three agents, at once

Parallel. That's why it's fast.

Repo crawler

Reads

README, last 100 commits, languages, file tree, branches

Finds

"final final v2", 41 TODOs, node_modules in version control

Site crawler

Reads

Your homepage, if the README dares to link one

Finds

Screenshots, OG tags — or the 404 where a demo should be

Originality agent

Reads

The web and GitHub, searching for your pitch

Finds

The 2–3 products that already exist. With links.

Step 03

The score

Five sub-scores, equally weighted, mostly computed from cold hard dates and counts — so you can argue with the number, and the number can win. Higher is sloppier.

This is a sample card. Once SlopHunt is submitted to itself, this reads its real row — same database as every other roast.

Sample figures — not yet self-submitted.
Slop ScoreANNOYINGLY GOOD
32/100
Originality Deficit
61

How many things already do this

Abandonment Index
4

Commit recency and decay

README Cope
22

Promise versus reality gap

Commit Poetry
31

Quality of commit messages

Vibe Check
44

TODOs, dead code, committed secrets

Step 04

SlopHunt reads
your crimes

The Roast Engine

40,000 PRs reviewed. Believed in software once.

“The README says blazingly fast. The demo link says 404. One of you is lying, and I have the commit history, so I know which.”

The text roast and score land instantly. The video of the roast reading it renders in the background and attaches to your page when it's done.

  • Every joke cites evidence

    No crime in the crawl data, no joke. Generic snark gets rejected and rewritten.

  • The software, never the person

    The roast is aimed at the repo. Your identity, background, and intelligence are off the table. Hard rule, enforced in the prompt.

  • Self-submission only

    You roast repos you own or collaborate on, or repos tagged roast-me. Nobody gets dragged here.

  • Delete means delete

    One button on your page, instant hard delete, no questions, no cooldown.

  • Secrets get flagged, never shown

    If the crawler finds a leaked key, we tell you one exists and score it. The value is never stored or displayed.

Your roast is rendering

The disappointment takes time. Check back in a few minutes.

9:16 · under 45s · vertical · sound on

Seen enough?

Paste it. The agents do the rest, and the leaderboard does the remembering.

Self-submission only · Your repo, your funeral

Or just watch others suffer